Alexis Schottenstein

Dr. Alexis Schottenstein, Ph.D., is a psychologist in Buffalo, New York. Her practice specializes in providing family and marriage therapy.

Dr. Alexis Schottenstein has more than 25 years of experience helping individuals, couples and families overcome the barriers that prevent them from developing strong, supportive, and positive relationships. Throughout her career, she has developed a reputation for competence, compassion, and care.

Dr. Alexis Schottenstein believes that each person has the innate ability to heal and transform, provided that they are empowered with the right tools, techniques, and support and that they are willing to commit to change. She also appreciates that adjustments can take time and that each individual, couple, and family must move forward at their own pace.

When she is not working, she enjoys spending time with her husband and daughter. She also loves camping and traveling with family and friends.

Where did the idea for your career come from?

I have always been highly motivated to help people overcome their challenges, and I have always been fascinated by the power and complexity of the mind — especially when it comes to achieving positive transformation. These interests and inspirations led me to become a psychologist, with a specialization in marriage and family therapy.

What does your typical day look like and how do you make it productive?

My typical day involves engaging with clients through structured and scheduled sessions. In between those sessions, I reflect and take notes, or conduct research. Because my work is so deeply rooted in working with people, I can honestly say that no two days are ever alike. There is always something new to discover.

How do you bring ideas to life?

As a psychologist, I bring my ideas to life by sharing them with my clients, and inviting them to embrace new paradigms and perspectives. I also spend a considerable amount of time reflecting, introspecting and analyzing possibilities, and I find that these meditations often inspire some very creative ideas.

What’s one trend that excites you?

I am excited about the trend of providing therapy over the web, which is something that has really taken off since the pandemic started. While I still see clients in person and look forward to ramping that back up once the pandemic is over, I believe that the web will continue to play an important role in how I connect with my clients. It is not just convenient for my clients, but for some of them it makes them more open and comfortable, because they can talk about some of their personal challenges and issues in the privacy and familiarity of their home.

What is one habit of yours that makes you more productive as an entrepreneur?

I would say that the one habit that makes me more productive is that I am highly organized, and I strive to focus on high-value tasks and priorities.

What advice would you give your younger self?

The advice that I would give my younger self — and that I would share with anyone young who is reading this — is to embrace the moment. Yes, you should think about the future and plan your life in the best way possible. But do not get so wrapped up in the future that you sacrifice the present.

Tell us something that’s true that almost nobody agrees with you on.

People can be their own worst enemy, or their best friend. We do to others what we first do to ourselves.

As an entrepreneur, what is the one thing you do over and over and recommend everyone else do?

Have a healthy, effective and productive routine, and stick to it.

What is one strategy that has helped you grow your business?

Building strong referral relationships has helped me grow my practice.

What is one failure you had as an entrepreneur, and how did you overcome it?

When I first started my practice, I expected too much of myself and after a while it was exhausting. I had to learn the importance of dialing things back, and taking one day at a time.

What is one business idea that you’re willing to give away to our readers?

A business idea that I think will really take flight in the next few years is mobile therapy, which is just like it sounds: instead of an individual, couple or family packing into the car and heading to a therapist’s office, they will open their front door and walk into a kind of RV where they will have a confidential and comfortable session. I can even imagine the RV driving to a nearby park or natural spot, which can further relax clients and facilitate their participation and investment in the session. I realize that this may sound strange right now, but I really think something like this could take off!

What is the best $100 you recently spent? What and why?

The best $100 I recently spent was in making a donation to a local charity.

What is one piece of software or a web service that helps you be productive?

I am a big fan of Office 365. I love that I can access my files from anywhere, and the software is always being updated with new features and functions.

What is the one book that you recommend our community should read and why?

The one book that I would encourage everyone to read is Being and Loving: How to Achieve Intimacy with Another Person and Retain One’s Own Identity by Althea Horner. This tremendous and transformative book provides remarkable illumination on how our relationships later in life — including those that we forge with our spouse and our children — are heavily influenced by the relationships we developed, for better and for worse, when we were young. I should add a note of caution: this is not the easiest book to read for those without a background in psychology and therapy, but it is well worth the effort.

What is your favorite quote?

It is really difficult for me to pick just one quote! However, I would probably say that it is the words of Maya Angelou, who said “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I try and live by these words in my work, and in other areas of my life.

Key Learnings:

● Be organized and prioritize tasks
● Stay open minded — there is always something new to discover
● Create a productive and efficient routine
● Embrace the moment
● Focus on ways to help and empower others