Elyse Bensusan is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, interior designer and philanthropist. Starting her career as an Ivy League-trained psychologist, she developed a keen interest in Environmental psychology. This interest led her to transition into the world of interior design, where she now is the principal designer at Elyse Interiors, her prestigious interior design agency based in New York. The shift from psychology to interior design was not a planned career move for Bensusan. It was during the challenging times of the global pandemic that she decided to pursue her long-standing passion for home decor. What began as a small project in the Hamptons soon evolved into a thriving business, providing her with opportunities to showcase her work in various locations like New York City, California, Connecticut, London, and Paris. One of the most recent and fulfilling aspects of Bensusan’s career is her dedication to giving back to the community. Through her very own non-profit organization, Elysium Gives, she supports families transitioning from shelters to permanent housing by providing home items such as beds, cribs and other furniture. By combining her expertise in psychology with her flair for design, she has developed a unique approach to charity that focuses on essential furniture acquisition as a way to restore hope for people facing adversity.
What is your typical day, and how do you make it productive?
I split my time between the Hamptons and New York City so the day looks quite different depending on where I wake up. If I am in my home in Southampton, I usually wake at 7 am cold plunge, shower, look at the punch list for the day, answer emails, do remote interior design consultations, and virtually visit project sites to ensure that all the design planning is being properly executed. I also tend to coordinate most of the logistics for Elysium Gives. I sit with my fiancé Michael, (he is a lawyer) he typically helps me navigate the legal and logistical aspects that come with running a charity. Before 5 pm, we usually check in with our wonderful volunteers via email to set schedules. We are blessed to have such committed people who donate their time to help the foundation grow!
How do you bring ideas to life?
Find someone who has successfully manifested a similar idea, ask them what skills were needed to be successful then learn to master those skills. As a child who grew up in an inner city, I had to be smart about my plans and goals and strategize. I couldn’t buy my way out of my problems, instead, I used challenges as an opportunity to learn new skills to overcome them. Learning new skills as well as knowing how and who to learn from is the key to how I have always brought my ideas to life.
What’s one trend that excites you?
The “Romanticizing your life” trend that is so popular on TikTok! As an 80’s kid, I grew up with the mindset of delaying gratification. There was a culture of “ work hard first then relax” and sacrificing self-care. So I love the trend of romanticizing life where you see people slowing down, using nice china to drink their morning cup of coffee, and dressing up for no particular reason. I love that there is a generation on TikTok that values and promotes adopting a mindset of savoring the moment, enjoyment, and gratitude. I want us all to embrace this trend, to find magic in the everyday. After all, life is a great journey – let’s romanticize it to the fullest.
What is one habit that helps you be productive?
Two words. COLD PLUNGE. This practice boosts my energy levels, sharpens my mental clarity, and sets an invigorating “I can conquer anything” mindset for the rest of my day. I have a personal cold plunge tub out East but a super cold shower is sufficient. I also frequent a place called Bathhouse in NYC which has a great vibe and cold plunge pools at varying temperatures.
What advice would you give your younger self?
It wasn’t until later in life that I truly found my social courage and the ability to be unapologetically myself. Throughout my teens and into my late twenties, I also struggled with what I now realize was a lack of “emotional courage.” This led me to make choices that weren’t in alignment with who I was. I would often push aside that inner voice telling me that something wasn’t right for me, just to please my parents, mentors, and partners. I lived my life within the lines, always striving to keep others happy. Eventually, this facade I had built came crashing down, forcing me to confront the pieces of myself that I had neglected for so long. If I could go back, I would tell my younger self to trust her gut instincts and never ignore them. I would also advise her to spend less time “putting on a brave face” and more time cultivating the courage to be truthful with herself and those around her.
Tell us something you believe almost nobody agrees with you on?
Rainy days are better than sunny ones! Oh, and another is and this might not be the best thing for a trained psychotherapist to say but sometimes “talking it out” in relationships isn’t the best thing- try shutting up. Go see a movie and hold hands.
What is the one thing you repeatedly do and recommend everyone else do?
In both life and work, I embrace the concept of “downsmanship.” While “upsmanship” is all about one- upping others and flaunting status, downsmanship takes a different approach. It’s about entering a room with humility, even if you have a wealth of knowledge and experience. A downsmanship mentality values curiosity and assumes that everyone present has something valuable to offer – unique experiences and insights that can lead to positive outcomes. This mindset is crucial in various aspects of life, whether it’s in business leadership, parenting, work environments, or friendships. When you shift your focus from asserting intellectual authority and hierarchy to genuinely seeking to learn from others and collaborate for the greater good, everyone benefits.
When you feel overwhelmed or unfocused, what do you do?
I take a break. Usually, I take a drive with the windows down and blast my favorite music. It’s an automatic decompressing mood booster.
What is one strategy that has helped you grow your business or advance in your career?
One strategy that has significantly contributed to the growth of my Interior Design business and my career advancement is delegation. By delegating tasks to others, I have not only been able to expand my business but also increase my productivity. Delegation has allowed me to save time, reduce stress, and enhance my creativity as an interior designer. Over time, I have learned the importance of letting go and entrusting both small and large tasks to my assistants and team members. Learning to accept help and delegate responsibilities has been crucial in my professional growth. By valuing the input of others and trusting their capabilities, I have been able to focus on high-priority tasks and strategic decision-making, ultimately propelling my business forward and advancing my career. Embracing delegation has enabled me to leverage the strengths of my team and achieve greater efficiency.
What is one failure in your career, how did you overcome it, and what lessons did you take away from it?
At the start of my interior design business, I made the mistake of taking on an excessive number of new clients while simultaneously attempting to micromanage every detail of each design project. This lack of trust in my staff to make decisions led to feelings of undervaluation among both my team and clients, resulting in project delays and ultimately causing burnout for myself. After struggling through the first five months, I realized the need to pivot my approach. Recognizing the inefficiency and negative impact of my micromanagement tendencies, I shifted towards a more balanced approach that prioritized delegation. By empowering my staff to take ownership of their responsibilities and make decisions autonomously, I not only alleviated the pressure on myself but also fostered a sense of trust and value within my team. Embracing delegation allowed projects to be completed more efficiently, improved client satisfaction, and ultimately helped me avoid burnout. This shift in management style enabled me to focus on strategic aspects of the business, leading to better outcomes for both my team and the overall success of my interior design business.
What is one business idea you’re willing to give away to our readers?
I recently slept in my contact lenses and the next day my right eye was angry and inflamed. My eye doctor urged me to wear my old glasses for a few days. I never noticed how much eyeglasses fog up. Someone should invent true non-fogging glasses because those anti-fog sprays for glasses do not work at all!
What is your favorite quote?
“You are the main character in your life story, remember this. Don’t live a supporting character life” -Don Miguel Ruiz
Do you have a favorite book or podcast you’ve gotten a ton of value from and why?
“Your Money or Your Life” by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. This book made me reassess my relationship with money and helped me prioritize my long-term goals over unnecessary material possessions. It made me start to think about money, life, and status. It’s funny, most people think that they want a fancy car or a nice watch but what they probably want is respect and admiration. Honestly, there are so many other ways to get respect and admiration. To paraphrase Dave Ramsey you don’t need to buy things you don’t need, to impress people you don’t really like! By aligning my financial decisions with my values and aspirations, I learned to have a more fulfilling and purpose-driven approach to managing my money.
What’s a movie or series you recently enjoyed and why?
Well, I am a huge science nerd so this is an easy answer. “Breaking Bad” holds the top spot as my all-time favorite series. It weaves together the themes of chemistry, the study of change, within the story of a timid and unassuming man who undergoes a radical transformation after being confronted with a terminal cancer diagnosis. This meek individual evolves into a bold and fearless figure who embarks on a journey to build an empire, albeit a bad one. The show tells an important message that change is constant and inevitable and it’s how you respond to changes that define you. It’s an awesome show.
Key learnings
- Change and challenges are just opportunities to learn new skills and unlock different versions of you
- Delegation is a major key to success
- Every person you meet has something to teach you if you know what to ask and how to listen
- Always follow your gut instinct